Forgiveness Heals

It seems that there have been an inordinate number of violent episodes lately that have to do with our schools and our children. Perhaps we are more aware following Columbine, or maybe the news media is focusing on them because they are such an aberration. In statistical terms 2006 has not seen the most incidents of school violence, but the increased sexual bias of deranged individuals who have themselves been victims has been dramatic.

There could be endless discussions and analysis of how and why these events happened, but to me it is not the events but the reactions to the events that are the most telling about our culture and our state as human beings.

Two weeks after a gunman took female hostages and killed one at a high school in Colorado, another man entered the one room Amish school house in Nickel Mines, Pa. shooting and killing five girls and wounding five others. Having a sense of outrage and wanting revenge over the Colorado incident and all the other killings that have happened over the past decade is what we, in today’s society, term as normal. What happened in Nickel Mines however, was astonishing; immediately following the murder of their precious children the Amish forgave the perpetrator. They then invited his family to attend the services of the children, to participate and pray along with the victims families.

This attitude of forgiveness has been around for thousands of years, Christ spoke of it, but I don’t believe we listened. Was it mere coincidence that such a horrific event happened amid the Amish community? It is hard for us, as members of a practical society, to think that there should be a message in such a terrible event, but I believe that we need to be shaken, we need the lesson of forgiveness in our world today.

If the families of those small children, can forgive the man who ended their short lives, then it should be a lesson to us all when we next have vengeance in our hearts. Forgiveness heals, and is the only way to end the road of self destruction that we are on.

Radicalizing Democracy

I am disturbed daily by the shear arrogance and stupidity of all sides of the Israeli and Hezbollah conflict, as well as those involved in the Iraqi situation. One definition of insanity is to continue a cycle of retribution that has no resolution other than the annihilation of one or both sides. Standing on the outside watching only what the news media reports is often frustrating and I believe that the people of the United States and the world are frustrated. But the people are not being heard. Israeli’s are overwhelmingly against any further military action. The majority of the American people do not want the Iraqi war to continue and yet the arrogance of those that govern, who are supposed to represent the people, instead of bending to the publics will, try to bend the will of the public. The Bush administration makes a big point about fighting the enemies of Democracy and spreading Democracy around the world, but, I believe, they are only interested in their brand of Democracy. When the people go to vote and choose a person or party that our democracy doesn't like all of a sudden, that kind of democracy is no longer valid.

I believe that the aggressive actions taken by the United States and Israel will have a democratic backlash. It will lead people of such countries as Lebanon to democratically vote in more and more radical groups and candidates in order to represent the frustrated, outraged and disenfranchised population. It will be democracy at work and will legitimize radicalization, just as the Palestinian’s did by voting in Hamas as their government.

Then, where will Bush and his cronies stand on democracy? Already they have bent and twisted our own democracy to a point where our founding fathers would not recognize it; with the president breaking the law, assuming powers more of a monarch than a president. As our democracy crumbles, who are we to say that the Chavez democracy of Venezuela, or the Hamas democracy of Palestine is any less valid.

God Makes No Promises

If we do not realize that killing, war, and hate are wrong when perpetrated by ANYONE be it Arab, Jew, Christian or Protestant, this world will not change. We will be doomed to see technology outstrip our humanity and no matter where we are, whether in a war zone or not we will all suffer.

God does not promise to love one group of people over another. What kind of god would that be? God – he/she/all that is, is not concerned whether we survive or our childish behavior; God is concerned that we freely recognize our own divinity. If we destroy ourselves God will not save us, nor give us salvation, because we have already been saved and it is our refusal to recognize that fact that keeps us from moving forward.

All God asks is that we be the highest, most conscious, most creative representation of ourselves.

Be a reflection of God or perish. Of course God knows that we can never perish and that is why God gives us free will to make our mistakes, over and over again. But how long are WE willing to make those mistakes before moving on to … “the Kingdom of Heaven.”

A Feeling of Change

Do you feel it? Doesn’t it feel different to you now? Doesn’t the nation, the world feel different? It does to me, and not in a good way. People seem angrier, more upset than I can ever remember. There is an uneasiness that I thought had to do with the issues I was dealing with – the death of my parents, the changes in my life. But now I know it is more. In dealing with people on a daily basis, there seems to be an unease that I can’t put my finger on. Perhaps my perceptions are flawed, or that I interact with such a small segment of the population that it is localized. But from what I read, what I hear, I don’t think that is the case.
We can hear the political pundits battle it out on television, each side with their point of view to support and defend with rigor. There are opinions and arguments but little discussion. Books are written on both sides of the issue and we have more and more information available to us through the internet then at any time in the history of our civilization. Enough information so that we can form our own judgments, become defensive and incensed with whichever opinion we don’t agree with, we can do all that but when it comes down to it, how do we feel?
How do we feel about our lives in the context of our nation and the world. Are we proud of the way we are? Are we proud that after 5,000 years of “civilization” we are still murdering each other, that we believe war is still the answer? That we are so self absorbed we can’t even see what we are doing to our planet. Even the vilest of creatures knows not to defecate where they live, but we have soiled our home and pretend that it didn’t happen, that we can continue on the same course.
Perhaps the feelings that I have, that seem so foreign, are the harbingers of change. That finally our battle of reasons, our separations, our differences, are coming to critical mass; that we can either continue the way we are and parish or change and survive.
I know, it’s just a feeling, but I was wondering how many others felt it. A sense that there has to be a fundamental shift, change beyond any change we have made so far. If you have, it is time, there is no more waiting.

Secrets are a Symptom of Fear

With all the commentary that is flying around these past few days about the New York Times article revealing the governments operation for monitoring financial records, and before that the NSA program to eavesdrop on individuals via their phone and internet, I feel a basic point has been missed.

Our constitution guarantees freedoms, bending them to the governments will has been a full time pastime for this administration. I find it hypocritical that those who are shouting the loudest about the leak of information are those who have made it possible for there to be information to leak. They remind me of grade school kids found cheating on a test. They make all sorts of excuses to escape blame for something they know is wrong. For them, it's not about the fact that they broke the law and violated the rights of US citizens, it is more about getting the person who had the audacity to catch them doing it.

The New York Times has been singled out for attacks in order to become the administration's media fall guy. And other media are falling all over themselves to toe the line and act like good little boys and girls. But we know from experience that the rebels make history. Look at our founding fathers. Some, including my great great great great grandfather, lost everything for freedom. It is our duty to be vigilant in monitoring our government, we the people, are the only barrier left to this nation becoming a theocracy.

To let the President wield the power that he has goes against what this Democracy was founded on. Our checks and balances still do seem to have some teeth left in them, but Congress may see to their removal. How can our country go so wrong so fast?

Yes, we all want to feel safe in our homes, and yes the world right now is a dangerous place filled with fanatics of all stripes, fighting for their unique interpretation of God and life, but it is certainly not a new situation. What makes it unique is terrors proximity, as the world shrinks as communications and travel become ever more sophisticated. Still, why is it that we as Americans can feel so threatened clear half way around the world from major threats, while people in Europe and the Middle East live with the threat of violence and terrorism daily, minute by minute. We are children, still coddled by our parents. The blatant use of fear by anyone, whether it is the government or a parent to control their child, leads only to a cycle of panic, revenge, retribution and rightiousness that sets people apart rather than bring them together. Secrets are a symptom of the disease of fear. Secrets are the prevue of men so afraid of loosing power and control that they have to set up methods to maintain their superiority. A free press is a threat to all that they hold dear, the ability to hold information that others do not have.

By the side of the Road - Helpless

The following poem I wrote years ago, from an article published in the Los Angeles Times about a Mexican illegal who was hit by a car and lay by the roadside for four days before anyone decided to help him. If this new immigration legislation is passed, people will have just one more reason to ignore such a tragedy.

HIT AND RUN
"Mexican Lies By Freeway for four days after being hit by car."
Los Angeles Times


It has been a long day,
I have worked hard for
the twenty dollars in my pocket
I must go home now, home to Mama.

First I piss in the bushes
by the freeway, then cross
through a hole in the fence;
a passage I take daily

from my barrio to the corner where
we stand, my muchachos and I, waiting,
waiting to use our lean backs, our strong
backs, waiting for money to save our families.

I am strong and always wear dirty shoes
to show I work often and hard.
My mama waits for me, and my little
hermana, her trusting eyes

will speak to me, saying hello
before hiding in Mamas skirt.
This is a special day,
a good day for Mama, I run across the traffic,

I am thinking of Mama and her special day.
I hear music, foreign and loud,
then the air is around me.
What am I doing? The ground is a dream.

I hear my Mama speak to me;
"You are late I have prepared your dinner,
beans again I know, but you are strong
and soon...soon..."

Suddenly I am tired, I am tired, Mama,
it has been a long day.
I will lie here for a while, my legs
are like stone, my arms have

nothing to hold but my pockets are full,
they are full, Mama.
I am cold, but I am not asleep.
I can see the stars.

They speak to me,
like you Mama, they tell me I am strong.
They tell me of our family,
they tell me not to forget that

we are descendants of kings
buried in our motherland and,
thinking of their children like
you are thinking of me, Mama.

I am warm, the sun is relentless
and I am sure my clothes are wet and dirty.
Oh Mama, I do not want to
burden you, your work is never ending,

your days the same, your life marked
only by us, your children and pain; that
is all you will ever have or expect to have.
I am strong Mama, I get up, but

the air so cold in places
that I have not felt cold before.
I am standing, but I am tired.
An old man across the road scowls....

like Papa when I was small.
his face a dark map.
I lie down again, my legs
are a sharp pain.

Just a little while longer Mama,
then I promise I will be on my way.
Besides my clothes are wet,
I will dry them first, then

I will come home ... I will come home.
Conchita my sister I cannot
play with you tonight.
Tonight I am cold.

I dream that I lie on a road.
The road stretches home
but I am bound with rope
and cannot move...

The world is a slow place,
with anxious faces bending over me.
Papa, you watched me as I slept.
I remember now what you said

do not pull away, I am strong,
you told me to be strong and
I am for you Papa, I am for you
and for Mama, I am sorry you have to leave.

The red lights circle
reminding me of the times when I
close my eyes and put my
face towards the sun.

I like to do that, I smile
when I know that my work
is finished and I can come
home to you...Mama.

They tell me I am strong.
I know I am Mama, I am strong for you
and Conchita and Papa.
He looked at me, he told me a secret.

He said I will live Mama.
I will live forever.
I was tired Mama, I was
so tired, I am sorry dinner got cold.

I will be home soon.
The men that say I am strong
will let me rest and then
I will come home,

then Mama, you rest.
I will bring you money
and I will work hard, Mama
I will work hard because I am strong.

Anniversary

Both my parents are gone. On this, the anniversary of my fathers death, I measure my separation by the war in Irag. He died the day the Iragi conflict started. Good thing too or what has happened since would have definately done him in. He was a man of unshakable principles, willing to suffer for them, he did not walk the common road and yet he would have been the first to tell you how common he was. His legacy was fleeting, as is all of ours, as is every young man and woman who have given their lives in a conflict that should never have been waged.In the early days a small percentage of the American population believed what a larger percentage now knows, that invading Irag was a mistake. If my father was young, I am sure he would have stood in protest as he did in previous wars, not just to the specifics of the conflict, but to the irrationality and in-humanity of war itself. There was no doubt that having the parents I had, has formed the person I am. My morality and humanism stems not from dogma, but from the understanding that all men deserve the respect and care that we reserve for ourselves. That one of our biggest flaws is that we often do not believe we deserve it and therefor no-one else should have it either. In my parents name, I feel it is imperative to spread the natural law, there is only one, and we are all a part of it, no matter what our race, creed, beliefs. Perhaps the mistake is that we do treat others as we would have them treat us because we believe we are flawed and are separate. Just as my father died at the birth of a war, so war must die to birth a new world.